"white men like a good old-fashioned pancake butt, like mom used to make. nice and flat."

"i'd rather just poke my penis through my pajamas if thats ok with you"

"Box of wine....puts me right out."

"Todd...Would you care for a glass of grape juice?"

"very mature, rondell" that voice gets me every time.

He kinda uses the same voice when he does Lil Jon.
"Jon...have you ever given yourself a stranger?"
"YEEAAAHHHH!!!"

yeah, the only difference being that the lil jon skit gives me a brain tumor after five seconds. dave chappelle wearing plad, looking like a 1950's dick van dyke and using words like "superflous"? so great.

"I'm sorry officer I..... didn't know I couldn't do that."

"open and shut case, johnson. i've seen this before when i was a rookie. apparently this nigger broke into this house and hung up pictures of his family everywhere. alright, well let's sprinkle some crack on him and get the hell out of here."

"mmm...titty residue" and "I've finally tasted brown sugar, and not in my oatmeal"

I like the skit of him in the ghetto better

"you know you are in the ghetto when it's 3 am and you see a baby on the corner of the street.

go home baby!!"

and then later he talks about how the baby snuck in the club

"just tap the ass if you need some weed nigga"

"I'm gonna have to put you in time out."



"Alright fine...fine. You get O.J., we get Eminem."

"Would you cut the malarkey!?"

dave chapelle is a nigga, fuck that guy. and besides, I heard he was muslim