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:	post by Blessed_Offal at 2012-01-05 12:53:43

I was just thinking about how pointless it is to be elitist, because if I really wanted to, I could talk shit about anything.
For example, here's a description of some of my favorite bands.

Type O Negative - It's just some tall guy with a deep voice singing about hating himself and wishing he was in the Beatles.

Motorhead - It's just some British asshole with a benign tumour on his cheek playing three chords to a 4/4 beat and half-assedly egrunting about gambling.

Godflesh - Oh Im supposed to be impressed by some asshole who looks like he's fresh out of chemo standing on stage with a drum machine playing the same riff for 7 minutes and occasionally mumbling into a microphone?

My Dying Bride - OOOOOH GOOOOOOOD everythings SOOOOOO SAD I HATE MYSELF AND WANT TO DIE only not really because I am a fucking rock star.

Black Flag - Oh I noticed that you had some solos in there, well isn't that cute. Next time try it with some talent, fuck face.

DIO - Why would anyone want to watch a midget rip off Ozzys look and sing about unicorns? FAGGOT

Blood For Blood - IM BETTER THAN YOU BECAUSE MY PARENTS MADE LESS MONEY THAN YOURS AND IVE BEEN IN FIGHTS

Faith No More - Oh we're so talented and eclectic! Everyone is so impressed, and our singer is TEH CRAZEEE! Pick a style or eat a dick.

Discharge - attn cal morris: 'and children' makes no sense. You're not making a difference, you're just giving rich kids an excuse to dress up and pretend they're trying to be different by spiking their hair and walking down train tracks with their hands in their pockets.

Blessed Offal - Just what the world needs, a band full of drug addicts who can't get their life together, or play their own songs right.

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